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Oh help me, please. [Nov. 8th, 2012|11:23 pm]
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[fury_chick]

I'm having problems with my guy. He keeps on distancing himself from me and he's really not the type of guy who talks about what's wrong. We hung out twice this past week and to me, there's nothing there anymore. He hasn't texted me since sunday and actually this happened for like two weeks before we saw each other last week. Since I know he won't say anything to me, maybe I should... but what should I say? I need help cause I know for damn sure this thing with me and him isn't going well.

BTW: I can't respond to comments on here because my iPhone is lame.

When's the last time you were in a funk? Did you get out of it?

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

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[User Picture]From: plugmebaby
2012-11-09 05:37 am (UTC)

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just text him and say "i noticed you werent yourself last time. are you ok?" and whatever he responds, say "maybe we should take some time off?"

my s/o broke up with me yesterday because i yelled at him to leave my apartment and it was 1030 at night :/ he asked to do his laundry and i was exhausted (from having 2 exams in 2 days) and he didnt want to help put them in the dryer so i snapped :( i just want things to be back to normal and im so horribly upset at having hurt him so much that he wants to leave me. like he legit hardly gets mad at me for the shit i put him through tbh.. he wont argue with me about things, nothing ever really bothers him, but when i go over the line it's like, he's done. :(

thank god i have exams so i can at least have something to focus on for now.
[User Picture]From: spiffle
2012-11-09 05:50 am (UTC)

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Sit him down and just ask him what is going on. If he deflects, tell him exactly what you told us.
[User Picture]From: csandiegooo
2012-11-09 11:33 am (UTC)

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Plan something fun for the two of you to do that will bring you closer together--i.e. a surprise day trip to the beach, a romantic homemade dinner, a picnic in the park at night etc etc...

At some point during the night just bring up what you've been noticing and talk about how it makes you feel before you assume how he feels. Let him open up to you gradually and let him know you're there to talk instead of assuming the worst.

Best of luck <3
[User Picture]From: bad_lcuk
2012-11-09 03:06 pm (UTC)

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Why dont you just be straight and blunt with him?
"Hey (guy), I noticed youve been distancing yourself from me and I know youre not the type to really talk about these things...It feels like you have had a lack of interest in our relationship and its making me feel very separated from you. Have you been stressed about something lately?"

Make your point clear (hes distancing himself) the repercussions (you feel distant as well) and a lead to allow him to reply "yes/no" to an question (have you been stressed?). When I was working with children, one of the easy solutions to 'get them to open up' was to lead them. By that, I dont mean manipulate them, I mean just try to give them yes/no answers and once they feel confident in their answer, allow them to talk more. So sometimes, a girl i was coaching would get upset. I would ask her if she wanted to come swim with me, she would say no. I would ask her if she didnt enjoy swimming with me--she would say no...I would ask her why she didnt want to do something she enjoys then. If she didnt answer, I would say 'did someone upset you?' or 'did you forget something?' or 'do you miss (x)?' (depending on the situation of course)..and she may say yes or no. If something did upset her, I would say "did i upset you?" (no) "why dont we do a fun thing together then? Whoever upset you we can talk to afterwards" or if she was feeling more open, "Who upset you?" (one word answer). If you get what i mean?? Its just easier, for those who dont always have the capability or skill to communicate.