odetomutilation (odetomutilation) wrote in thequestionclub,

tw sexual...pain, i guess

This whole post is TMI...and really quite disgusting, tbh

You and your partner both like having anal sex, though it hurts you quite a lot at first even using enough lube. He is aware of this and you always go slowly. One night, you're fooling around and you can't find the lube but you (stupidly and drunkenly) figure you could get it in okay with enough saliva. You turn around and he just kind of shoves it in there, sending a ripple of intense pain through you. You had assumed he'd be adding more saliva. He says he thought the saliva on his dick from a brief blowjob would be enough. He insists he didn't mean to hurt you. You don't quite believe that given your history (of it hurting even with lube) and think he has enough common sense to realize the saliva remnants from a BJ is not enough for anal sex.

Do you get mad at him or figure it's your fault too, for suggesting the saliva method? If you do get mad, how mad do you get?

Other possibly relevant details: you've both had about 5 drinks. Your relationship is otherwise really healthy/happy.
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